Humans are not perfect they say... But you know what? Sometimes people expect you to be perfect... Sometimes people want just so much of you that there's no place to breathe... Sometimes, you hurt yourself because you succumb to the pressure... Sometimes, you really need a shoulder, a bear hug and the customary saying of "everything's gonna be all right..." but you just can't find one... Sometimes, you can't admit that you are hurt, alone, deserted and lost because... You don't want to be a burden to others... You try to tackle the problems alone... You try to solve it... You try to fight every single battle, every single war by yourself... But one thing we always always fail to realise is that often a one-man-army is the reason, the cause of our own demise... We realise this but we are just too stubborn to admit that we need a helping hand... Me included...
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." -John 15:13-
See? Even the Bible says such things... There are wars and battles that we need to fight alone but there are also those that we need a helping hand... More often than not, we always fail to know that our friends want to help and that they care and love us... The code of "anytime, anywhere, need me? Call me..." is always ignored... Me included again... Sometimes, I just don't want to see other people suffer or crack their brain just because they wanted to share my burdens... You too, right? Sometimes... I want to talk to someone... But... I just can't help but ponder that I will be very annoying or even an extra burden for that person if I do so...
Like I said, we are not perfect... I am not perfect... But there are things that I need to sort out myself... I thank you all for helping me but now... It's between God and me... I feel I am drifting away again... See? Another thing that I hate about myself... I hate the very fact that I declare that I love God but I tend to fall so easily, lose faith that quickly... How am I gonna let God use me if I am so pathetic? I really need to get back on track... Really need to take things more of God, less of the world...
Found yet another song that spoke what I thought of when it all happened... The dreadful day... Oh... It's by Christina Aguilera... The name of the song is Hurt...
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you
Sometimes I really want someone to smack some senses into my head... Can you do that for me?
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you
Sometimes I really want someone to smack some senses into my head... Can you do that for me?
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