Love Story

It's been a long time since I heard that song... Yea... Very long... I can't even remember... Was it a month ago? Or just a few weeks ago? Hah... My memory is really failing me nowadays... Woke up late today... I can't sleep... AGAIN! Yea... So decided to appear offline in MSN just so nobody knows I am still awake... opps... Secret exposed... =.='''.... In any case... I did manage to get some sleep and in the morning, I was awaken by Loong Kun... Saying they are going to the digital mall... I had nothing to do today... So I went with them... Them being Adrian, Kun, Esther Lee and Ru... So we went there by bus... Ru on the mission to get his CPU fixed... Feel honoured, man... You got 4 other people following you... haha! Just kidding... Adrian continues his pursue for a camera... Esther with her cable hunting and Kun, his mouse hunting... Me? Cooling pad and a nice laptop skin for my lappie... Haha!


We went to digital mall first to get the CPU fixed... Walked around a lil and finally... Er... Or maybe, unfortunately, the repair man can't find anything wrong with the CPU... Darn... So where to put the CPU now? Cos we were planning to go to KL... We went for lunch first and there we all decided to chuck the CPU into the locker in the digi mall... Er.. not literally of course... Anyway, we went first to Times Square... Ok... I admit... I went to Starbucks... Gosh there were so many of 'em and the temptation was soooooooooo great! So me bought a grande caramel with whip cream on the top... Yummiez~~... Then Ru bought a watch I think and then we went to Low Yat... Gosh... First time being there and was a bit startled... The amount of computers... The amount of gadgets... The amount of people! The amount of their scent... =.='''... Me don't like crowded places... haha!!


Finally got my cooling pad and an ARSENAL laptop skin!!! Haha! So darn happy cos Arsenal is favourite football club... And the laptop skin with its emblem... YES! PERFECTO~... Kun suggested we go to Sungai Wang which was just next door and so we went... Tho the legs are sore... Walked round and round and just when I thought it was gonna be a good day... This song... Love Story played in one of the shops... I...Lost the ability to smile at that instant... Tho I had to fake it in front of them... That song... Was our song... Yes... She and me... Our song... It was the song she sang to me... And the song which kept our believe in our love... It was the very song that I love to listen to... I can even sing it without the music... A song which reflects on us so truly...


"Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel,
This love is difficult but it's real,
Don't be afraid, we'll get out of this mess,
It's a love story, baby just say yes."


This particular stanza pulled us through a lot of hard times... Perhaps... Not this time... At this very moment... I have been living in self denial... I kept saying things like "it's ok... I don't need to love her anymore...", "she's got a better guy now." or anything like that... I am denying how I feel... This love is difficult... But it's REAL... REAL!! This is not some puppy love! This is not two kiddos trying to figure out what's love! This is not two people who... wanted to separate in the first place.. Why does our love story has to be yet another fairy tale? Why??? Maybe we are too young?? I don't know... I DON"T KNOW! Why... I kept asking myself... Or rather I keep asking God... Why... (sorry dawn jie and esther jie for dragging myself into this again... I am just... useless aren't I?)


I cannot fathom why... It was all too true... too cruel... Too cold... Too... numb... Harsh reality... That's what they call it... Our love... is... true... But our love story... It's just a fairy tale... A harsh fairy tale... A tale of a meant-to-be who can't be....... Somehow... I wished... I never have existed in her life... At least... At least... She won't be in this much pain... Or perhaps... It's me who can't accept the very fact that she is not the one??


The other day... She said her heart is at peace now... Tho there are persecutions anywhere... I can't help it but to think that her time with me... Last time... Was her heart not at peace? Perhaps... It's me... Perhaps... It's my selfishness... Perhaps it's my self centered-ness.... Perhaps... I put too much pressure on her... It's ME... ME! I.......... am the one... who destroyed this love story.... I am sorry... Sorry... Sorry.... Now... Empty promises fill this love story... Promises that I can never fulfill anymore... I am sorry... Sorry............. I don't know what to say...



But... I am happy... Happy to the very fact that he will indeed be a better guy for her than me... Happy that he will appreciate her more... Happy that... that... he can... fulfill the promises in my behalf... At least, that's what I hope... Am glad that her heart is at peace... Not in pain... Not in darkness... I don't care if I have to be alone... I don't care if I am to take in all the pain... I don't care.... All I want, pray and hope is that you... yes... you... can be happy... and never lose that smile... I don't care... Don't you dare give up that smile...



I don't know how to feel now... Love Story... Keep playing in my heart... Cos... even if it's just a fairy tale... But you showed me what does it truly feel like to love and to be loved... Thank you.... for appearing in my life.... Sorry for the tears..........