A very quiet Chinese New Year indeed...

What more can I say? Aside from a few ridiculously decorated houses in Kuala Kangsar and a short short trip to the ever busy Taiping Sentral, things had been very awfully, curiously, funnily, awkwardly quiet this Chinese New Year. Of course, it IS a quiet Valentine's Day. Well, how can it not be when my lovely Esther is so far away from me? *ahem... er... ok... anyway, moving on~ XP

And the most devastating news was the lovely Ms. Quah passed away at the eve of New Year... Tho I heard, she gave birth to a lovely little girl... So it's true that every cloud has a silver lining... Hope she grows up to be just like her mom... Jolly, happy, determined and radiant... =)... Hope her family is holding up fine...

Well, this New Year, the family's been missing two voices. One is Joe's and the other is Christina's. The couzies are in Australia, studying so Gambateh~! ^^. And it's Ronnie's wedding soon. He'll be back in March tho together with his missus so can see them then. :P

A very very quiet CNY for me but nothing is better than spending time with my family. Sometimes they may be weird or querky or even bizzare but that's what I love my family about. Looking forward to meet them again.

p.s Looking forward to see you too lovely Esther~... ^^ Love you~!

Angel Angel, where are you?

Angel, angel, where have you been?

Where is your radiant smile?

Where is your presence?

Where is your charismatic charms?

Angel, angel, have you been set free?

Set free from all adversity?

Set free from all conspiracy?

And free from all sufferings and anonymity?

Angel, angel, why oh why?

Why oh why have you go this way?

Why oh why do you have to leave so abruptly?

Why oh why have you go away?

Angel, angel, tho away you must go,

Tho to some place far you travel,

You are not forgotten,

Sealed are you in the hearts of many.

Angel, angel, tho miss you will we,

But remember we, your wise teachings,

Your bubbly nature that puts a sun shine

to our darkest clouds,

And your smile that glimmers with hope.

Angel, angel, for all moaning and lamenting,

Remember we had loved you,

and will always do...

We remember too that you loved us too...

Angel, angel where are you?

p.s A poem dedicated to our Ms. Quah... Rest In Peace... Sufferings and pains are no more... =)... remember and cherish memories of you, we shall... Good bye...

Valentine's is a distance away...

Valentine, oh valentine,

How thou hast given me a missing heart,

How thou hast left me longing for my valentine,

Oh valentine...

Valentine, valentine,

Can you come again another day?

And please don't say nay,

For what is joy when she is away?

Valentine, valentine,

If you do say nay,

Can you bring a message to my beloved valentine,

That she is not away from my heart?

Valentine, oh valentine,

Can you send my heart to her?

Can you send my kisses to her?

Can you, valentine, oh valentine?

Valentine, isn't valentine,
When one longs for gifts,

Or demands a special thing,

But never believe in the love that they both bring.

Valentine is only valentine,

When I keep you in my heart,

When I mean the words I say to you,

When you believe and hold on to the love

that brought us here today...

My valentine... Oh, Valentine...

Tho a distance's away...

Please be here and stay here...

In my heart, always..

Esther Loh... I love you... =)

I am a failure... I cannot do anything right... I always do everything without going through my head... Failure, failure... I fail in being a good son... I fail in being a good cousin... I fail in being a good nephew... I fail in being a good friend... I fail in being a good Christian... I fail in being a man... I fail... Cos I am a failure and I admit it... I am nothing but a failure who expects so much yet give so little... I am a failure who always complains and always always makes a fuss out of nothing...

I am nothing but a lost cause... Nothing, absolutely nothing... I never learn... I never mature... I never grow... I never appreciate... I never ever was grateful... That's what I am... What a man... What a failure man... I have nothing good in me... If you do trust me, please I beg you, stop doing so... Cos what I hold is nothing... nothing but emptiness... What I hold is darkness... I am not who you think I am... I am a worthless idiot, an ignorant,useless, good-for-nothing brat... I don't need sympathy, I don't need acceptance, I don't need anything because people like me are not worthy of anything...

Oh, nothing, just a statement... nothing serious... It's what I am... I believe I am just that... You don't have to be sad or do anything about it... Who knows I might betray that trust one day... Let me rot peacefully... Thank you

He is but a worthless man...

He stands alone,

Alone on the Stage of Life,

Head bowed down,

His performance nothing more than a riff-raff.

Boast and speaking mindlessly,

All but listening and loving he did not be,

At no ends, his ignorance holds,

A grave he dug for his own siege.

And oh behold!

What a man is he!

Foolish and corrupted by all men's desires,

Holding only empty promises for his fellow actors.

What a Stage it was to behold,

for it shown him how incapable the man he was,

And all he can was to drop and cry,

When others live on rather than die.

And what a fool he was!

What a man so not worthy,

Not worthy of knowing what love was,

Not worthy of anything beautiful.

For what is a man,

Who knows only his desires,

Who knows only his dreams,

but not know how to listen,

Listen to the loud cries that longed for him,

Or tend to the needy with what effort he could bring,

Or love another without lusting for sin,

What is a man... What is a man,

Who is not worthy of the star's shining gleam....

Answers

It's a make or break day tomorrow...

I dunno what to do exactly...

I lost sight, blinded, and I need the light...

I need answers...

The doctor is right...

If I don't help myself, no one will...

But I need strength for tomorrow...

I need You, Lord... I need You...