Can I just say that I am the most freaking idiot in the whole wide world? Sometimes, I am just so baffled that I always always fail to learn my lessons... Look at me... I am a far cry of who I really am... Or am I always this way last time? Definitely not... I don't recall myself being snappy... I don't recall myself being so sarcastic that it annoys people, even myself... I don't recall myself being so useless and hopeless and so directionless in life...; Is this one o those lay-off periods that people have? Or is it just me yet again, don't want to learn the lesson?
My clock says it's 1:27 pm... I haven't had my lunch... I haven't gone to church... I haven't done a single freaking thing that I am proud off for the last week... Should I go on to punish myself by not eating again today? Maybe I should... Maybe I must... To keep reminding myself of how horrible a person that I have become... You know... It's so stupid... So freaking frustrating that one can realize the bad changes in oneself yet chooses to do nothing about it... I think I fall into that category.... I really wish someone could just really, literally, smack me in the face or on the head or stomach or up the a**...Just so some senses can come back into this empty head of mine... All those rubbish excuses that I made for myself is so darn good that if there is ever a competition about making excuses, I would win it... I recall someone once told me that not being able to do anything is not the excuse for not trying to do everything I could...I must change... I MUST...
Freaking idiot in the freaking world doing freaking stupid things trying to freaking change everything... That's me... Lord... Help me... I don't want to drift away...
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