The Warmth of Grace

The ugliness about truth is that sometimes it hurts... and sometimes it merits nothing but add into the agony of a person who's already been through enough. They say the truth will set us free but on what cost does that freedom come?

Heartache?

Broken relationships?

Lies, best kept and buried underground?

At what cost...?

Honestly, I don't know. However, I'd always like to believe that no matter what the cost, what the pain may be, the truth is always the path that one must walk in. Perhaps I haven't seen the world enough to understand what truth really is but as of now, I believe truth is at it is. Facts- unrivaled, unbeatable, unquestionable. Truth is the story behind two stories, the one side of two opposing sides, the fence between two fields.

But the cost, sometimes is too much to bear. I learnt so. And whenever I think about the lessons and truths that I've been through so far, my heart bears a heavy guilt and my shoulder, a heavy burden.

The hardest thing is not the forward march. It's the time that flies... too fast at times. I can bear the march, the burden on my shoulders but I cannot bear how time constantly tries to be the antagonist, the catalyst, the unwanted guest who keeps pushing you to the brink of collapse at times. When time travels, the light is sucked in, the unbearable thoughts sank in, the memories caved in, throwing you deep into a limbo that is so difficult to get out from. You need someone to get you out of there. The longer you stay, the more delusional you become.

That's why I like to face the truth. Because I've always believed that truth is the thing... the person, the someone who can get me out of there. Until recently, I find truth, however, isn't that pleasing at all. I don't know how to face it. I don't know how to deal with it and accept it. It hurts. It has a cost. And most of the time, truth changes how things work... how human relationships work...

I find no peace. I find no rest in truth. Though I found light, I found little comfort.

People look at the outside to judge, to see what's going on. On very few occasions that people actually tried to look what's behind a smile, what's behind the cheerful personality or what's beyond the silent persona. But  don't we all know that there's a sad tale behind every smile, there's a grim side to every cheerful personality and a chatterbox beyond every silent persona? Don't we all know? Yes, we do. Because at the very essence, that's what we've been through. That's what we all do most of the time. We wear masks to hide things that we think, are best kept hidden.

But I also believe that in every sad tale, in every grim side, in every disappointing circumstances, we are able to move forward, to carry the burden, to stand back up again because of grace.

Grace is a favour, a goodwill, a manifestation of kindness towards someone. We are able to move forward, away from the unrelenting push of time and away from the grasp of delusional limbo because one way or the other, we've been shown grace by someone.

I cannot say I've lived a lifetime to see all, know all but in my lifetime, I know one thing. And that one thing is that the grace that keeps me going comes from Him. His Grace... unrivaled, unparalleled, unquestionable... made only possible by Jesus Christ and none other...

The broken truth hurts. But the warmth of Grace soothes.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God." 

-Romans 5:1-2-