As my memory slowly recollects,
Her eyes were black,
Her eyes were black,
Her skin was tanned,
Her hands met mine,
as we slide down the slide
in a garden where all children gather and play,
and meet the sunset's orange ray."
That girl came back today.
It's gonna be a somewhat emotional post today. But my blog posts are emotional anyway. *wink wink*. Anyway, many people would be thinking if that girl is my girlfriend or something (I have a girlfriend and I love her a lot!) but she is not. She is someone who holds a very special place in my life. She is someone whom I spent half of my childhood days with. She is someone whom I first shared an ice-cream with, the first person to ride a bicycle with and the first person whom I knock into while cycling (nothing happened! ok, maybe minor injuries and we cried a lot). She is like my sister, except she is my cousin, my lovely cousin. Oh, how I miss those days.
You know, she left us (family) under very difficult circumstances... Circumstances that I would never reveal here. But thinking back, when grandma returned to the Lord, a series of unfortunate events struck our families. We have had our problems. I remember her spending her "last days" in her primary school while I was just starting mine. Then one day, she suddenly was not there any more. Did I cry? I can't remember tho. Perhaps I did cry because that was when my dad left us. And I had no one to turn to. Mom is very much lost as well. My other pillar of strength was not there any more. Perhaps... I did cry.
It's gonna be a somewhat emotional post today. But my blog posts are emotional anyway. *wink wink*. Anyway, many people would be thinking if that girl is my girlfriend or something (I have a girlfriend and I love her a lot!) but she is not. She is someone who holds a very special place in my life. She is someone whom I spent half of my childhood days with. She is someone whom I first shared an ice-cream with, the first person to ride a bicycle with and the first person whom I knock into while cycling (nothing happened! ok, maybe minor injuries and we cried a lot). She is like my sister, except she is my cousin, my lovely cousin. Oh, how I miss those days.
You know, she left us (family) under very difficult circumstances... Circumstances that I would never reveal here. But thinking back, when grandma returned to the Lord, a series of unfortunate events struck our families. We have had our problems. I remember her spending her "last days" in her primary school while I was just starting mine. Then one day, she suddenly was not there any more. Did I cry? I can't remember tho. Perhaps I did cry because that was when my dad left us. And I had no one to turn to. Mom is very much lost as well. My other pillar of strength was not there any more. Perhaps... I did cry.
After that, Chinese New Years were not the same any more. Holidays were not the same any more. Even dinners (we used to eat together) were not the same any more. Your smiles and laughters were missing, jie. Since my highschool days, I would always think "what might have been" if you were still here, especially when I'm always talking to the four walls at home. There was a total lost in contact, lost in everything. I wished you were here at times. You were always there when I was little. You were always the first one to see me if I'm sick or hurt. I remember very well, even if all this happened when I was awfully little.
Do you remember the days we went to the lake gardens in the evening? Do you remember jogging with your dad? Do you remember how I used to lag behind both of you (I've got weight issues!)? Do you remember sitting at the top of the big big slide, waiting for the sun to set? I remember a lot of them...
Today, you came back, jie. And the memories just keep playing in my head. After a long 14 years, you finally came back. Although it was just for a short few hours.... you came back. The girl who was once taller than me has now become a beautiful lady... and yea, shorter than me. How much have we grown, jie... And your voice changed too.
After all those years, your birthdays that I missed, times when you needed a friend, times when I wasn't there... I'm sorry... for not remembering or not being there for you...
In a month or two, she will be flying off to Perth for a one-year education programme. Then... she will be leaving us again... But as always, I hope that she will always be the girl who left and came back. All the best in your undertakings, jie. And remember that your families, your cousins especially will always be here when you need us. We missed you and we love you. Always. See ya!
Do you remember the days we went to the lake gardens in the evening? Do you remember jogging with your dad? Do you remember how I used to lag behind both of you (I've got weight issues!)? Do you remember sitting at the top of the big big slide, waiting for the sun to set? I remember a lot of them...
Today, you came back, jie. And the memories just keep playing in my head. After a long 14 years, you finally came back. Although it was just for a short few hours.... you came back. The girl who was once taller than me has now become a beautiful lady... and yea, shorter than me. How much have we grown, jie... And your voice changed too.
After all those years, your birthdays that I missed, times when you needed a friend, times when I wasn't there... I'm sorry... for not remembering or not being there for you...
In a month or two, she will be flying off to Perth for a one-year education programme. Then... she will be leaving us again... But as always, I hope that she will always be the girl who left and came back. All the best in your undertakings, jie. And remember that your families, your cousins especially will always be here when you need us. We missed you and we love you. Always. See ya!
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